WHERE has all the GUTS gone?

Why has India become such a soft targets for all the terrorists out there in the world. It has become a practice field for all the kinds of inhumane activities. Today people out there have been stripped off their right to live because of some whimsical fantasies of a group of fanatics.

Our politicians are happy selling our country away and laundering the money in their Swiss bank accounts. we are living in a world where every politician is only worried in how much money he is making per day. I guess if all the illegal properties of all the politicians is confiscated and given to a man, he ll be twice as rich as bill gates. Majority of politicians are just around us are convicted criminals. I don’t think the incident in Mumbai would have ever happened if only our political parties spared little time for worrying about the countries security. But no, all they want play a blame game and mud slinging till the eternity.

I don’t blame the police for the kind of image they have painted for themselves. They have become too immune to corruption. They have been sandwiched between situations where they have to obey someone who hasn’t even a graduate degree in his name. The ias officer work their way up by studying their ass off and all they get to do the rest of their life is to obey the orders of a money thirsty hypocrite.

What about those soldiers who are perennially and year after year under paid. What will be left of their dignity of labor when they are paid much less compared to their civilian counterparts? Just because they are not around to do a strike asking for a pay raise that doesn’t mean they should be sidelined forever.

Today whatever situation we are in, we are in it just because we let this situation come to us. We have become too short sighted.

Our value system is getting diluted. We are drifting away from our principles at a rate higher than ever before. Why have we become so patient and so bloody immune? How can we get used to these ungodly treatment meted out to us so easily. We are proud to call ourselves as the people from the exotic land. Very soon it does gonna be a land of exotic garbage if something very soon is not done about it.

They say the man who chases two rabbits catches none but here we are trying to chases tens of rabbits together. We are not even western. We are torn between language, sentimentalities and religion. We are sabotaging all the values our forefathers gave to us. And everyone against us are making total use of these aspects.

We are torn between western and our own culture. In our country itself we are divided into northies and southies. In this we also are multilinguistics. And as if these differences are not enough we have communal riots also which have becoming fairly frequent in our lives. We have ample talent around us being unused but there is not enough talent to spot these talents. And who is to be blamed. Is it us or the people around us?

Iam sure in this way the meaning of democracy is going to be changed very soon. Our kids are gonna learn them as buy the people, far the people and off the people contrary to what we learnt!

You may be wondering whats the issue over here. the issue is am just concerned about my motherland my country getting ruined right under my eyes. A bunch of people who have a gun are able to bring the financial country to a grinding halt in no time. Its not gonna be very far where we have to think twice before letting ourselves or our kids out of our house. And I just don’t wanna be concerned I wanna do something about it. and the next question hits me like a boulder. What should I do? Will I be supported? Who are the people to support me?

Even today I swear I don’t know the educational qualification of our politicians. Today lot of youth who are interested in politics are shying away from their right of managing the country because of the ghastly picture portrayed by our current political scenario. People who have the heart to serve mankind are shying away because they don’t have nerves of steel to withstand the filth which is growing amuck in politics.

We don’t voice out our opinion. We are too busy making a worth of our life. Many of us think its not their job. They may very well be right but the trouble is all of us think the same.

B-R-E-A-K-U-P

The faint music of Cher goes on in the background. The track Believe.. Cher goes on.. Do you believe in love after love.. Do you belive in life after love.. ! His mind is disturbed suddenly. Not for the first time though. He knows this feeling so well by now, one of a deep hollow. A void. An irrepairable loss.

When he split with his significant other, the albatross around his neck was hung!

His eyes close, though not forcing to recollect the images and words, the scenes from a distant memory come back in a flash.

Months have passed since then, but it just seems like yesterday. He recollects with great fondness the playful times of the past, the-lack-of-responsibility-cool-head that he had, the cheerfulness every single morning, the lack of Monday morning blues, the patience and the help-everybody attitude, and most importantly, the sense of accomplishment, the feeling of having won something priceless, that used to cloud his personality those memorable days...
And the ever-smiling happy face that he has today, only to mask his deep void within, that has so much become a part and parcel of his life ever since...

Many a tear bag in the eye has dried up, many a vein has been dissected, but all in vain!
He needs something as drastic as the Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind to be inflicted upon him.

He understands that if you really want to attach yourself, attach yourself to your goals, not people or things. Only his head understands logic. Not his heart.

He wants to put up a statutory warning like the one on cigarette packs, for the ones who are living his past, and are most likely to live his present too, sometime in their future.

As these flashes of form a lump in his throat, he opens his eyes. But The Memory Remains.

This blog is a reproduction of one of my friend's blog. I could not have matched the impeccabality with which he has captured his feelings in words. I didnt have the words but the feelings were true to the core.

This is how I fell…

I am writing this blog to give people the first hand information about how I fell from the train. Sorry, I am not here trying to glorify my accident or trying to attract undue attention. I am rather sick of giving details about how I fell and how did I feel. So with this blog I am just trying to simplify my job.

Its very detailed and intricately written story so read it when you have all the time in the world.

The man who inspired me to write this blog is my room mate SAMEER (you are great myaan).

The date was 6th of August, 2007. I was coming back from hubli to chickamagalur. I am not so much of a traveler by train. I usually prefer bus to travel any place how much ever far that place might be. But I decided to take a train to go back home, the reason which I have not uncovered yet. I boarded the inter city train at hubli station at 6.30 in the morning. I had one large kit bag and sholder bag. I was wearing a Levis jeans which I had bought just the day before, a t shirt, pullover and a thick jerkin and a shoe (you may be wondering why details about my overalls, you will know don’t worry just read on). I selected a bogie in the mid section of the train and I took a seat in the compartment which was right next to the door. As it was a Monday there was not much crowd in the train.

I bought my ticket till birur. Birur is a junction where I had to get down and take a bus to chikamagalur as does not have railroad connectivity. I didn’t eat much on the train also. I thought anyway I am going to go home. Let me have a proper mom made lunch at home itself (I didn’t know then that it will be another two weeks for me to go home).

I started reading a book. I was getting call now and then and I was chatting with one of my friend through the sms. As I told you that I am not the one who travels much by train I didn’t have an idea what time will the train reach the birur station. My stomach was hungry and while reading I dozed off.

I woke up from my sleep and looked around. The train had stopped in a station. I checked my watch, it was 10.15. I don’t know why but I didn’t bother to trouble myself to check which station it was. I convinced myself that birur cannot be reached this fast. The train started. I was still looking out of the window sleepily and the train started moving slowly. As the train moved I saw the boards showing the name of the station appearing.

To my utter shock the name plate bore the the name BIRUR. I cursed myself for being such a stupid. My mind started to race. My immediate reflex was to stand up.My mind was trying to come out with a logical decision. . My mind was still under the spell of sleep goddess. But my body proved faster than that. It already seemed to have taken a decision. Out of practice as if entire body has become involuntary, my hands reached for the bags kept on the top rack. The book was shoved in to side pocket of the bag. My body moved and my mind was still thinking. In no time I was standing at the door. I could feel the train swaying, picking up pace. With every passing millisecond my mind was forced to come with a decision but it hadn’t booted up yet. My entire body was shouting,” you need to get down, you need to get down”. And I jumped and that very moment all hell broke loose.

In a split second so many things happened. There was a lot of commotion around me. I thought that I felt the platform of the station next my mind registered was that I was being dragged by some force(probably the inertial force). I was still clutching the bag tightly and somewhere in the midst of all those movements I had let go of it. Next when I opened my eyes there was bigger shock awaiting me. I could see the under belly of the moving train.

The very moment I opened my eyes my brain came into action (it realised my body had done a blunder). I could hear the rattling of the train wheels moving close to my ears. To my right seemed to be a concrete wall. I understood where I was, in the fucking gap between the train and the platform and it was just about enough to house me. I asked three questions to myself.
1) Am I dead. The answer was negative.
2) Is anything under pain (my brain meant, was there any part of my body dismantled?)
The answer was no.
3) Should I move?
HELL NO, YOU GOD DAMN IT.
I held my body tight, concentrating on not moving even a millimeter. I thought to myself is this really happening? or is it just bad dream I am having while sleeping in the train. I told myself let the train pass. Once it is gone I can get up.

In the meantime, someone on the train or someone standing on the platform might have seen a boy with a bag on his shoulder going under the train trying to detrain. They got the train stopped. The train came to a halt while I was still under it. Once the train came to complete halt I mustered all the energy left in me and got up but I wanted to put body onto the platform but my legs gave away. I could hear hurried foot steps and shouts of people coming towards me. I just gave them my hands and they pulled me up and laid me flat on my back on the platform.

There were about 50 people I believe. Half of them were shouting at me for jumping outta of the moving train and the other half shouting at them, the rest half for pestering me. They asked me whether I could sit. I told I can’t. I told them I need to see the doctor. By then the stretcher was brought. I was put on that and taken to the nearest hospital. Once I was in the hospital I called my mom and asked them to come over and as they say the rest is history.

And about my overalls, I was fully covered from neck to toe. And because of layers of clothing the bodily scratches and injuries was reduced to minimum.

Some people may be inquisitive about what happened to my luggage. I got them back, thank you. My kit was torn underside as I had dragged it on the platform surface.

You may think it as very foolish. You may ask me could I not have got down in the next station or had pulled the chain in train to stop instead of jumping outta of the train or why was I so lazy that I didn’t go to check what time will the train reach birur. I know, buddy that’s why it is called an accident isn’t it??

I thank the almighty for letting me live so that I could narrate this story and I thank my parents for having taken care of me for over three months after the accident like they did when I was a toddler. I can never forgive myself for the agony they had to go through. I am just happy to have a second chance to live my life again.

No pain is bigger than this one.

The biggest pain one can suffer is not when you meet with a life taking accident but it is when a person who you feel has understood you the best fails to understand you when you need them to understand you the most. But yes if understanding is painful and if my friend is HAPPY avoiding me, then i would never wanna be understood.

Rendezvous with Lawrence pinto

“Physics is my religion”. This is a  line which many of us wouldn’t have heard of. But this line defines this person and his personality who iam talking about. I was at home for the festival and I don’t know why but my instincts made me come back to mysore by Thursday itself even though I didn’t have classes until next Monday . But it was all clear to me when my cell phone received a message from Lawrence sir that he was in mysore. I called him right away and made an appointment with him.

It was almost a year since I met him last at his residence in mangalore. He himself gave me a call and asked me to meet him in his hotel room. Over the last three years his visits have been fairly frequent, once in a year at the least. It can never happen that he is in mysore and I don’t know of it. He greeted me with his disarming smile. We sat on the sofa in the porch of his hotel room. After all the usual exchange of niceties we would just sit down to talk about all random things going around in the world. Great thing about him is that when you are with him he ll give you all the freedom in the world to talk, anything under this sun and even beyond. We would talk about Indian economy, he would advice me about the job sectors, we would talk about making India a superpower, he would tell me about few of his students. He would tell me how fulfilling it is to be teacher, to be with the young minds all the time, the young minds being  the pulse to of the society, whom you can guide to a better future. We would talk about the new things in mangalore and about mundane activities of life. The reason,  why chatting with him is so fulfilling is because he listens with his heart not just his ears.

He helped me to get outta a lotta dilemmas, to choose the best of the available options. For me especially at this point of time he was god sent.

Lawrence had a class to be taken up in the marimallappa’s college which was just a couple of blocks away. I even attended his class. I could not miss such an opportunity. Whomever he met in there, he introduced me as his friend. It was an honour. Iam not even half of his age, forget that iam not even as old as his teaching career is. That’s a sign of greatness.

During his class I was transported into my past 4 years back. I wondered that the four years which have passed in the meanwhile had no impact on this person standing in front of the class but have only improved him exponentially.

He can phrase so complex of a situations in so simple a ways. He is one of those ppl who have taught me to learn, to teach, to listen, to talk, to laugh, to contemplate, to THINK.

We went back to his hotel room after the class. I even met John Sherra sir. It was totally unexpected. He doesn’t seem to have changed a bit. A soft spoken, ever smiling math prof whom we had in first pu.

I dropped him to one more class in the evening. Was supposed to meet him later that evening but couldn’t as he told me there wasn’t any need. There are very few ppl on this earth with whom you can sit and talk your heart out and be sure of getting a good advice. For me one of them is Lawrence sir. I thank the almighty for it.

May be there are things which are predestined, the one like this rendezvous with Lawrence pinto.